I Hate This Part Right Here.

Bonus points if that made you sing a Pussycat Dolls song when you read it.

If you have been following (or even just reading occasionally since I started this blog, you may remember it all started with 30 Day Updates.

Every 30 days (or so), I posted a photo of myself in my under-stuff so that I could track my weight loss journey.

The main reason I did this? Purely for accountability, and to give myself a reason to KEEP. ON. GOING.

Alas, shit happens.

Here I am, 5 1/2 years later and the amount of life changes I’ve faced in that time is kind of mind-boggling to me. On top of changing jobs approximately 5 times, moving 3 (or was it 4?) times, beginning a serious relationship, a really weird and blurry 18 month old period where I worked upwards of 90 hours per week without sleep….I don’t really have any concrete excuses for what happened.

All I know is life got crazy, life got hard, and here I am trying to get back to the lowest weight I ever hit: 198 pounds. Or at least somewhere close to it, kinda sorta. Really, I just want to feel as amazing as I did then. I want to be able to do everything my body could do then, again.

You may have seen my most recent post about Whole30 and how since I discovered and tried it last August, I’ve made a lot of changes for the better.

Although I feel those differences, I was really struggling to physically see any changes. So I thought to myself, “Why don’t you start back at the beginning?”

When I began my first round of Whole30 on August 13th, 2016 I had Sean take a photo of me to compare to throughout my process. I actually felt so great and was so happy that my scale moved 13 pounds….I forgot the photo.

So, I took a new photo today before leaving home for work, and begrudgingly pulled up the old one for comparison.

I wasn’t looking forward to making this collage…but I am glad I did. Not only was it important to me to see the difference, but I thought it might be helpful to those who are trying Whole30 or struggling through these types of situations to see that my story and experience are real.

And so, Sondra in her underwear photos have returned.

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August 13, 2016 and January 12, 2017

And so, thats where I’m at. It’s not perfection, and it probably never will be. But I’m ok with that.

How do you track your progress? Does the visual make you feel more accomplished, or do you prefer to track by weight and measurements? I wanna know!

Until next time!

See Sondra Sign-off-stacked

 

Tuesday Testimony (on Wednesday)!!!

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I took this “after” photo yesterday morning,  and it seemed like the perfect thing for a before and after shot. Still swollen post-op, but its looking better every day!!!!

More updates later! 🙂
‘Til next time!
Xoxo

Life is Crazy…

Whew!

Been taking on more responsibility at work, checking out all the fun wedding stuff and trying to live up to the best Maid of Honor EVER status I have set out to achieve, and  also working on planning a baby shower for one of my very dear friends. In the midst of those things, I am also trying to lose a couple pounds before I see the surgeon in just a week, to see if I am a candidate for a Panniculectomy and a thigh lift.

I should clarify that my journey, and the reason I share it, are not because I have the ambitions to be a super skinny Victorus’s Secret bombshell (although I frequently joke about such things…if you knew me before, you know that my narcissistic tendencies haven’t even been increased since losing all this weight. I was always full of myself and had a hard time fitting my head through the door).

I have been so blessed with the opportunities and the motivation that have made this weight loss possible. And now that I have lost a significant amount, and seen the things my body can do…I can’t really see myself settling. Some people think I am crazy for having “cosmetic” procedures, but you know, after weight loss in numbers like this, it actually becomes “Medically Necessary.” So…that means, once again, insurance pays!

And we all know I love my free stuff! Besides…it’s hard to know that I have lost over 120 lbs, but I still can’t wear a two-piece bathing suit (not even slutty!)  because of this ridiculous apron of fat over my pelvic bone. UNACCEPTABLE! Lol.

So, I will at least explore my options, and as always, I will hope for the best!

I came across this on Tumblr, and it made me remember how I used to feel sometimes, so I thought I’d share it.

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I know this to be true! Even at 305 lbs, you’d see me wearing what I wanted (as long as it was tasteful and I could keep my self-respect), and I would be proud of myself and make the best of the body I had.

At the time, this was my absolute fave pik of myself!

At the time, this was my absolute fave pik of myself!

I always have an issue with getting the rudest looks and comments when I wear shorts...but for this birthday, I didn't care!

I always have an issue with getting the rudest looks and comments when I wear shorts…but for this birthday, I didn’t care!

This dress! I never wore it out, because it was always a little big and I never got it taken in...but I made sure we took photos of it!

This dress! I never wore it out, because it was always a little big and I never got it taken in…but I made sure we took photos of it!

And then we fast-forward to now, where I still pretty much wear what I want, when I want, and if you don’t like my lumpy thighs and their excess skin, I’m just kinda like “Bite Me!”

Besides, most times, I choose cuts that are too flattering for all of that. I give you the present (not like you haven’t seen these already, but just for shock factor!)

Yeah...this is definitely my favorite head shot in a looong time!

Yeah…this is definitely my favorite head shot in a looong time!

You'll find I have many more full-body photos these days!

You’ll find I have many more full-body photos these days!

What's that? Shorts, and I let a photo of me sitting down be taken? WOO!

What’s that? Shorts, and I let a photo of me sitting down be taken? WOO!

Moral of the story?

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More than that, make sure that you do what makes YOU happy. When you go to bed at night, make sure that what you think about yourself is that last thing on your mind. Not the words of the ignorant lady at Trader Joe’s who thought you wouldn’t hear her ask her friend “Why would she wear those shorts?” and make you have to get all crazy on her before you can buy your damn edamame and sea salt caramels!

Be happy with you. And if you’re not, do something about it! It’s all up to you…and it’s ok to need help! ASK FOR IT!

That’s my rant and update for now. But I wanted to make sure I posted, and shared that all-over-the-place insight with everyone!

‘Til Next Time!

XOXO