I slept in a gazebo for a few nights after running away from home when I was fifteen. I was so determined to escape my alcoholic, abusive father, that I would rather sleep on a bench outside, than crawl back. I was so desperate for an escape, I was willing to “suffer.”
The only reason that random information is important? Well, I’ve noticed I have a big problem in life…I seem to measure my achievements in such a way that they almost lose value if I am not EXACTLY where I want to be at that time.
I have decided I really need to fix that. I always feel so displaced. I feel like I don’t have a TRUE home, or sense of purpose, or use.
But then I look at how far I have come. And sometimes, it makes me cry.
That girl up there? She was afraid to see herself for the person she was. She took her struggles and thought that they defined her. Thought even, that they made her less than everyone else. And then one day, she decided to fight back.
It took awhile. It took some crying, and some bad decisions, and some hard decisions….but I have to keep remembering the most important thing. It took some STRENGTH.
When all is said and done…I did. I’ve done. I’ll keep on doing. And for that reason, each day, I am getting a little better at accepting my small and large victories to accelerate myself to that “place” I have decided I’d like to be. It might not be easy….but you better believe I will give everything I’ve got to see that it becomes a reality!
Which brings me to the good stuff! 🙂
Right before surgery, as in two days before, I was proud to participate in the Oceanside Relay for Life for the second year in a row. This year my company made up our own team, and I was the captain! My team was AMAZING! I was having a hard time with my bad knee, and couldn’t walk as much as I wanted…and I ended up having a much needed sleep break. But my team? A lot of them walked through the night. Some even ran pretty much the whole thing! It was inspiring. And wouldn’t you know? We took home the award for “Most Spirited Team,” and came in 3rd place for Most Funds Raised! I am SO proud, and had a blast!
It’s been farrrrr too long since I have posted. I had some issues recovering from excess skin removal surgery, so I fell off my blogging a bit. But I am back, and I come bearing photos!
As most of you may remember, I had surgery 4/22/13. June 24th of this month will be the 2 year anniversary of my WLS, and I must say…I am REALLY proud of how far I have come in that amount of time. And I am not done yet!
Excess skin removal surgery went well. We got started a bit late, but the nurses and everyone were wonderful! Dr. Arya came in and drew on me before the procedure (being the dork I am, I was really excited for that!), and off I went to be put under anesthesia! I have a latex allergy, which always gets everyone on the surgical team riled up. I explained it’s mainly an internal allergy to banana, avocado, and mango (part of the latex family), but I appreciate the fact that they care enough to freak out about it anyways!
I came out few hours later, and was greeted by my Bestie and Boyfriend, and even my good friend Trina came to see me while I was there! I stayed at Sean’s after I recovered, and on Wednesday, I took my first shower and checked out my incision for the first time. Obviously, this was a collage-worthy moment, which you’ve seen if you follow SeeSondraSlim on Instagram and Facebook!
Please excuse the dimples on my thighs. LOL.
About two weeks later, I braved the swimsuit racks at H and M.
Side Rant: Dear Beyonce and H&M, How about we DON’T advertise a super cute bathing suit, with a super cute flowy wrap on the commercials that you don’t ACTUALLY sell in the store. Also, most of your swimwear tops are not accurately sized. I barely have big boobs, and I was struggling to fit in a 34D….and while I appreciate your low pricing and vast selection, I just cannot get over the fact that the swimsuit itself was too itsy bitsy, and the wrap doesn’t exist. Shame on you!
Ahem, anyways! I found a swimsuit that looked like it may fit, despite the swelling.
Am I on love? Naw. But I am THRILLED that it looks decent. And that I felt good enough in it, to share it with all of cyberspace. And that, my friends, is all I have to say about THAT. Better believe when I find THE suit, I’ll be unstoppable! 😉
My recovery was pretty anti-climactic. I watched a LOT of one of my favorite shows, What Not to Wear. I also spent a lot of time reading, and going crazy with nothing to do. Lol.
Best part? My little brother Erik came home to visit for a week and half. I hadn’t seen him since November ’09 when he and my mom moved to Connecticut. But alas, he was here and I was so happy to have him.
While he was home, we went to San Francisco so he could check out a Grad program at Berkeley. I like San Fran…it’s not for me for a long term or anything, but it’s a beautiful place to visit.
All in all, it has been a mellow, yet eventful time since I last posted. Slowly but surely, I am recovering, adapting to being back to work, and starting to work hard to tone up for the summer. I lasted a whole 15 minutes on the stairmaster today….I planned to be on there for 35, but hey, baby steps!
There is still more to come, and I can’t wait to share it with you all.
Thank you for your patience…and I missed you!
‘Til Next Time!