I am consistently faced with the fact that there are just NOT enough hours in the day.
I am always working, and when I am not, I am still trying to work out the kinks in balancing my social life and relationship.
I am tired. I feel like I am not working hard enough to lose these last 24 lbs before the end of the summer….and quite frankly…I am tired of all my excuses, and knowing that when all is said and done, there are NO excuses.
I’ve decided to see a therapist for assistance with stress management and just to kinda make me feel like I’m not losing my mind. I am going back to Dr. Steres, who did my Psych clearance for surgery last year, and I am very excited for her to see how far I have come, and to take her up on her offer to work with me post-op.
It feels like no matter how much weight I lose, I always feel like the old me. Family and friends see me, and don’t recognize me. I see the same face, and feel like the same person….with a little more respect for myself. Sometimes, I think my brain needs to re-adjust to my new life a little bit…and Dr. Steres will help me with that, so I have high hopes. 🙂
I am very fortunate to have a new gym-buddy for Wed-Fri at work. We both head to 24, and get it started! She’s even got me on those crazy ab machines (but, for the record, now I KNOW there is a 4-pack waiting to happen. I can feel it). I can’t wait for lunchtime tomorrow, because it means it’s time for the workout!
Sean and I went to the outlets over the weekend and I got some new workout gear, since all of my former ones kept having to be pulled up while I was running. Oh, didn’t you hear? I RUN NOW! WOOO! As a matter of fact, my friend Jackie wrote me today, and it looks like we will be participating in a mud run in October. She doesn’t know it, but her timing is impeccable; I have been trying to find an event to train for, to keep me motivated as I do this running at the gym!
My gym bag is packed, and ready to go for tomorrow, and I am just as ready myself.
I will not give up. I have high hopes for getting my skin-removal surgery once I hit the 18-month post-op mark on Christmas Eve this year. I know that it is attainable, and I know that although they do not require me to lose the full 130 lbs to get it, that it’s something I need to do for ME. It’s the goal I set for myself in the beginning, and I plan to see it through.
24.4 more lbs. That’s where it all ends, and starts at the same time.
It’s been 13 months tomorrow, and I look back at old photos of myself in awe. I am constantly receiving emails, comments, and motivation from people close to me, and people halfway around the world!
I am just one girl, on a mission to do the one thing she always wanted to. In the process, I’ve been blessed with the will, opportunities, and support to do go beyond and accomplish some other major feats along the way.
So, as a reminder to myself that I can do what I legitimately and completely put my mind to, I have decided to compile a list of things (not all weight-related) that I hope to acheive before Christmas Eve:
1. Do a thirty minute run…..and I mean JUST running, no intervals with walking in between.
2. As soon as I hit that 25 lb mark, I am booking my dream weekend getaway to Catalina Island. And I am doing the zipline (because I am skinny enough to, dang it!)
3. Complete a Running event
4. Get into size 10 jeans (I’m in a loose 14, because the 12’s are still too snug on my thighs. Alas, after 12 minutes of wearing my jeans, I have diaper butt. Sexy!).
I am not going all willy-nilly with the list, but it’s important to have something to reach for! I have recently starting a new savings plan financially for a big event in the distant future, and I want to make sure that my goals and plans don’t strain me financially. So we will see what happens.
Anyways, just wanted to post really quickly to let the world know I’m still alive, and still fighting…no matter what!
Hope everyone’s week is off to a great start!
‘Til Next Time,