I hate Christmas shopping. There’s too much pressure to get the right gift for each person. There are too many people to shop for, and the more you shop, the more people you realize deserve even just a small token of your appreciation.
Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely love that warm and happy feeling that comes over me when I see the joy in someone’s eyes, signifying that I chose something they will truly enjoy…but really?!? If I have to fight another old lady over a gift at a mass retailer again….I might end up in jail!
I went to Target tonight (shocker, it was NOT the ever-offensive Wal-Mart!), and while perusing the aisles, I came upon an impromptu gift for Alex that I thought might be useful. There were several of this said item, but only one left in the color that I wanted (of course).
Now, mind you….the item is IN MY HAND when a little hispanic lady says to me: “Um, that’s mine. I left it there for just a minute.”
I know I say it a bit exccessively, but…..Oh, honey. No.
See, the item is not yours until you pay for it. You do not truly own it until you have a receipt in your hand. Furthermore, you can’t even imply that it’s yours if it’s in MY hand. It’s on this shelf full of similar items, which implies that it is for sale, and completely available on a “if it’s in my hand, it’s not yours” basis. We here in Sondra’s brain sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you…maybe next time you’ll put it in your shopping cart, and think about it while you shop?
I’m not one to fight unnecessarily, especially not fresh off of work. So, when the aforementioned lady realizes that my reply of “Oh, I’m sorry. It was here on the shelf, so I’ve decided to purchase it (apologetic face with a touch of remorse).” is in all seriousness, and that I will NOT be giving up the frame? She got a little rowdy. A little rowdy, I can handle. I simply handle it but moving along on my merry way, because really, it would just be kind of snarky to say anything else. What’s there to say?! But, when I proceed down the aisle, with the specific intention of moving on and not laughing in her direct line of vision at the expression on her face? Ay dio mio!
This lady went straight CRAZY on me. She started rambling on, and I heard the word puta. Well, no me importa, vieja! Never in my life! Thankfully, I just shot her the “I dare you to do something about it!” face, and all was well. Again, this woman comes out of nowhere, tells me I have her frame in my hands, and I’m supposed to feel sorry for her and hand it over? Not gonna happen, sister!
This experience brought me back to the “Wal-Mart Christmas Shopping Incident of 2009.” The year that one of my babies really wanted a Cheetah Girls dvd.
Unfortunately, I was involved in a miraculous chance meeting with item, and another older hispanic lady, and she snatched the movie out of my hands! See, with her, had she said “You know, I really need that dvd, I placed it in this ridiculously obvious hiding place in the hopes of returning for it momentarily, after deciding I really do want to buy it,” I may have had pity on her, and been the kind Christmas Samaritan, and given in( but probably not, because I had been looking EVERYWHERE for the dang thing, and it was fate that brought us together in the same aisle as the printers).
We go on to argue a bit, she pretends to be confused when I, as nicely as possible, ask her to give me the dvd back. She then pretends she doesn’t speak English, and looks at me like I am crazy.
Little does she know. Because me? I AM crazy. And worse, I freely admit it.
So, what’s a girl to do when her 7 year old niece just wants a Cheetah Girl’s dvd, and an old lady has rudely snatched it from her? Well, she shrugs her shoulders, sighs, and turns to start heading on to the next aisle. Obviously.
And then….she quickly turns around, snatches the dvd, and sprints to the craft section, where she can hide from the mean dvd-snatching senior citizen, and hope the cameras at Wal-Mart didn’t catch the whole thing. Then, she tells the story, and people laugh at her.
But, had you seen the look on Jeda’s face when she received that gift on Christmas Day, you would understand why I had to resort to such ridiculousness. I have no regrets.
And I will NOT be out-shopped. Not when there is that kind of joy on the line.
Anyways, I have gotten pretty much everything I needed to get. I think people will be happy. The people closest to me pretty much just got one big-ticket item each this year, and a little something extra just for fluff. With all this car business, I have to keep my budget in check, so I didn’t get too, too crazy. But I think I did just enough.
Now if only I could become a millionaire, and buy my own Target that no one else could shop in…..that’d be fantastic!
Hoping everyone made it out alive this shopping season. I’ll post a blog with some substance tomorrow….but I felt like sharing. Without a reality show, this is the only way to showcase the truly bizarre events in my life.
‘Til Next Time!