I’ll never forget the old Jenny Craig jingle from back in the 90’s. Those commercials were everywhere. Unfortunately, I had not only the commercials to remind me constantly…but I had an annoying kid on the same school bus as me, who sang it every single time I walked by him.
Five mornings a week, for my entire 6th grade career, I was taunted by that kid, and that song.
I try, now that I’ve gotten older and learned many life lessons, not to take teasing very personally. I had a conversation with a guy I met just the other day, and I explained that even if I hadn’t battled with being obese for my entire life, people would have found another reason to tease me. People tease you if you’re too fat….or too skinny. If you’re too tall….or too short. If you’re too smart….or not so smart at all.
If I had known that in 6th grade, I might have been able to keep myself from crying every night when I went to bed, or avoiding the lunch lines, because I felt like people were always watching me eat. For years, I couldn’t eat in front of people, because I felt like I was being judged. Nevermind that I never really ate more than anyone else.
Kids are cruel. And you know, as adults, we don’t always do much better.
I watched a recent episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which most people know, I have a sick obsession with. I swear, I am such a masochist. I know I will bawl my eyes out every single time. Sean calls almost every time I am watching it, and I have to take a deep breath and steady my voice before I can even pick up the phone! Lol.
The Walker Family episode really hit me pretty hard. The mother lost her son was he was 11 years old. Kids at his middle school were making fun of him for carrying around books and reading all the time. They accused him of being gay. She came home one day, and found him hanging from the 3rd floor of their home.
Check out the episode on Hulu here. I strongly suggest you grab a box of Kleenex before you press play!
I cannot imagine the pain that Carl Walker must have been feeling. I almost have to assume that he was numb at that point. My pain, and the horrible things people have said and done to me over the years never made me think to end my life. Part of the reason this episode made me so emotional was because I can honestly relate. I was always the fat girl. Funny enough, if you didn’t know me, you’d take me for some quiet, reserved, scared person. I took every single opportunity to show people that I was more than the fat girl. Talent shows? I was there! Grades? I’m all about the A’s. Intelligence? Quiz me. I was constantly seeking approval, to prove to people that even though I was fat, I was useful.
Then, I got older, and I realized that people could take me or leave me. I learned the only one that needs to be happy with me….is me. As soon as I realized that, I seemed to attract attention and people without trying quite so hard. Ironic.
Sirdeaner Walker lost her son. Now, she has channeled her grief into a project that is geared towards stopping the bullying, and hopefully helping someone else find their worth inside before they give up. Stand Together is the website started for her project by EMHE, and you can click the link, go to the website, get your number (at this point, they have 121,751 people standing together against bullying! They started on a mission for a mere 10,000….but that’s what happens when you’re fighting for a cause!), and upload your photo holding your number. This project blew me away. The exposure that EMHE provided her cause is phenomenal…and I can’t help myself; I need to be a part of this movement! I hope that you will take a moment to join in, and fight against bullying as well. Take the pledge, print your number, and upload it to the site.
It takes 5 minutes, and it makes an impact for a family who lost someone that meant to world to them….and yet, they still find the time, the strength, and the desire to help others. I feel like the least I, or anyone else can do, is give them hope by being one more person to take the pledge.
I apologize for getting all deep. Now, on to the soft porn (kidding!)! But seriously, my text count seriously increased after the last post with the zebra panties. Dudes I haven’t talked to since 2007 were all over it! Ahem…smack yourselves!
If you’ve read the blog pretty regularly, you’re probably familiar with my 30 Day Challenge. Unlike most 30 Day Challenges, I made a promise to myself and my readers to take photos every 30 Days, and I challenge myself to see a difference. So, let’s recap the last three, and see just what we’re working with before I bust out the newest, shall we?
Jeans: Size 20 Tops: Size XL or XXL
Jeans: Size 18 Tops: L, XL
At the risk of being completely inappropriate, may I point out that nifty little space between my legs? 🙂
Jeans: Size 16 Tops: All the XL’s are too large! L, sometimes a medium.
I believe at the last one, I had lost 70 lbs. That was November 8th. Now, I give you….
It pains me to admit that this never really gets easier to see. Any butt I had is quickly leaving. Lol.
Oh, and did I mention the other big news? Monday, I finally crossed another item off of “The List.”
I got a car! Meet Dulce:
She rides like a dream, and has a sunroof, auto everything, a luggage rack, tinted windows, huge cargo space in back, 10 disc cd changer, leather interior….and the list goes on. Definitely wasn’t the car I had my mind set on, but as soon as I sat in the front seat, my heart was set on her. And I can’t lie….this car fits my personality more than the Dodge Caliber….and Jeep is part of the Dodge family…so I can rest easy knowing that my car is legit! I got her oil changed yesterday, and the guy was raving about how well-maintained she is (not that it stopped him from trying to sell me a new battery or air filter. Lol.). I named her Dulce, because she reminds me of caramel, which somehow got me to Dulce de Leche….random, and not even correct. But it works, and it matches her color when I think about her. I am a VERY happy girl, with a VERY nice car. I told myself I’d have a new ride before the year was over…and here we are. 🙂
We order her personalized license plates at the DMV (itch, itch, itch! Pray for me!) this Friday, and I have already placed my Amazon.com order for my rhinestone license plate frame. Don’t act surprised.
All in all, it’s been a good week….even if it’s been a long one. I’ve avoided most stores in an effort to keep myself from going crazy, so all is well!
I’d like to leave you all with one of my personal favorite songs, from one of the most ridiculous rappers on the planet. It’s totally appropriate, after all:
‘Til Next Time!