It’s certainly safe to say that the past few days have been eventful.
I just returned from a weekend in Vegas, dressed up in costume for work yesterday, and also found that just before Halloween ends, capes stop working!
First, let me tell you what I am the most excited about! The past two weeks have been a bit of a struggle weight loss wise. I had stalled right at right about 67 pounds, and although I know I shouldn’t be too upset by that number, it’s REALLY hard not to start having high expectations for yourself and your goals once you start this process.
I was starting to panic, because I’ve read and heard hundreds of stories of people who plateau for a couple of months at a time after surgery, and I just couldn’t accept that! I tried to up my protein, but that is really hard, because I am already avoiding food enough as it is. And the more protein it has, the slower I have to eat it, and the faster I get full! It’s really not a fun cycle!
But alas, I stepped on the scale ten minutes ago, and it read 235 lbs. That means, my friends, that I have lost SEVENTY pounds since June 20th of this year. That’s just about seventeen weeks! CRAZY! It’s a really miraculous thing to see a number like that on the scale. I am still overweight….still obese in fact, by medical standards. But the thing is, I cannot actually REMEMBER the last time I weighed in at under 250 lbs. I remember, however, lying on my drivers license and saying 163. I also remember thinking to myself at that point: “Haha. I weighed 163 in sixth grade!” The worst part?? When I found that out in sixth grade? My dad pointed out that he weighed the same. He’s 6′ 1.”
Every pound I lose helps me lose some of those feelings. I had to learn about five years back to cherish all of the bad experiences and memories, and to use them to help myself grow. I have always been big, my entire life. But I know that there were times when food was what I ran to when I needed to feel better. When I had no one, and nothing else to comfort me.
Food doesn’t define my feelings anymore. And for quite a few years now, pounds haven’t affected my perspective of who I am. But there are always those moments that you think to yourself “This would be so much easier if I was thinner.” Did I go for it anyways? Sure. But I was mentally battling with myself the whole time. I had to fake my confidence to cultivate it. And now, it feels more real than ever.
In Vegas this past weekend, one of the highlights was when a guy I was talking to at this club told me to sit on his lap. Initially, I looked at him like he was out of his mind! I told him no, and then he was like “Aww, come on!” I sort of mentally strayed from the conversation at hand, realizing that I NEVER sat on anyone’s lap! I don’t think I’ve sat on my own father’s lap since before I could walk! I have a photo of my mom and I, and I think I’m somewhat on one of her legs, but I was about four. Little things like that are a huge deal for me. And then, when he and I parted ways, I went to sit on a couch and another guy comes over and strikes up a conversation with me! We started talking about how he is from New York, and I told him I’m planning to go visit my cousin there soon, and he says “That’s a shame. You’ll have to cover that gorgeous body up in the cold!” First, let me just say, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Secondly, well, all that comes to mind is WOW.
Actually, come to think of it, if I had a dollar for every guy who tried to grab me at some point, or who casually grazed me as I walked by trying to get my attention this weekend? I’d have a wad of cash in my hand! I’ve gotten attention before, but the differences are there. Not one of the guys that approached me this weekend said anything about “loving a thick girl” or any of that crap. It NEVER came up in conversation. The one who kept insisting I sit on his lap just told me how my orange dress really set off my figure. He actually told me that he could see people taking me in as I walked by! And he mentioned the key word. “It takes a lot of confidence to rock a dress like that, and you pull it off!”
Ha. He thinks that dress is good? He should have seen me in my cape on Saturday night. Then I REALLY couldn’t get the men off of me!!
Might I add? Apparently, after wearing this all day Saturday, and all day Monday….my cape lost it’s powers. I went to “fly” to Alex’s rescue last night, and ended up slipping (Gold glitter flats=NO TRACTION!), and ate it! My left knee is swollen and still all ugly looking, my hands are all cut up, and my right knee is in pretty bad shape too. I have to admit though, it was pretty hysterical. Although, I am still not speaking to Josh or Alex right now…
In other news, the Boudoir Divas photo shoot has been postponed to January 10th. I am really kind of glad, because I have about three extra months to work on my sexy face, and whittle down some more to look even more svelte in my photos. Too bad I ordered my outfit I had planned on wearing online last week! Guess I’ll be returning it, and hunting for something with even more FIERCE! potential.
I think that is all for now. I hope everyone had a festive Halloween, and a great weekend. I need to find out if I won the costume contest at work yesterday!
‘Til next time!