I came across a really interesting post in my my sleeve support forums. I love that no one is ever scared to ask all of those questions that linger in the back of your head, bordering on inappropriate!
Someone was talking about how since their weight loss, they’ve seen their significant other in a different light.She is no longer attracted to him, and finds him pretty much downright disgusting after she’s lost over 100 lbs, and committed to living a healthy and active lifestyle. I found myself intrigued, because although I don’t have a significant other, so to speak, it triggered something in me.
Sadly, I guess I have always been a little shallow. I might not have been skinny, but I certainly held some disdain towards those who ate copious amounts of food without qualms. I’ve never really dated a “big guy,” so I don’t have much to go off of there, either. But I’d like to think that if my man and I got big together, we’d lose together too. Otherwise, wouldn’t things get a little tricky? SUPPORT is 99% of this battle. If it weren’t for the people who have stuck by my decisions and checked on my progress, I don’t know that I could have taken this step. It was all those people who said “Sondra, you have always done what you put your mind to. This won’t be any different.”….I may not have bothered. The push I gave myself was a huge factor. But the push from others sealed the deal.
One guy I was “dating” was quick to jump and tell me that he liked me just the way I was. He was so passive-aggressive about the whole thing that I was pretty much confused. He was in school to be a personal trainer, and yet….he was advising against my procedure. I found that shortly after that conversation, I was really no longer attracted to him. I couldn’t tell you why it bothered me so much, but it ruined our whole dynamic.
Another guy, he pretty much put it on the line that his attraction for me would be compromised if I were to lose more than 25 pounds. NICE. You better believe I don’t respond to any of his calls or texts these days….and yes, he still calls and texts. What the hell?
There’s one guy…I’m convinced without doubt that he is merely WAITING for me to be skinnier before he finally makes a move. I don’t want to believe it. But I don’t want to lie to myself, either. And the funniest part is that at one point, he had more of a shot than anyone.
I love people for WHO they are. And I’d like to think that someone getting fatter, skinnier, sexier, uglier, smarter, dumber, etc wouldn’t change my feelings for them. But at the same time, how do you start an entirely new life, with a huge focus on your eating habits and active lifestyle, and then turn your head to the lack of motivation on their part? What’s the point of being with someone who asks if you went running, but doesn’t want to run WITH you? Why bother cooking for someone who will complain about the fact that you used lean meat and no crisco? It just seems so sad to me, but at the same time, it’s a truth a lot of people have to face. How much you love someone won’t be enough if you start to feel like they don’t love you, let alone THEMSELVES, enough to make these changes, and take control of their health and livelihood.
All this to say, I guess I’m just gonna need to marry me a pro athlete. Someone who won’t mind hitting the gym with me, and who actually LIKES protein shakes. UGH! ❤