Ok. So here I sit, in my room on a Friday afternoon, trying to get my life together, or at least devise a plan of attack for how to get my life together before I head to work at Torrid in an hour and fifteen minutes. After a much needed nap, I decided maybe quitting school to join a roller derby won’t solve all of my problems. But, I have to say, Drew Barrymore did a FABULOUS job with her directorial debut doing “Whip It.” I went to see it with Jesenia this morning, and I love it!! It’s a new fave! Especially since I only paid $6.00 to see it. I am doing all matinees from now on…I am worth $11.75…but only when I am not paying for my own ticket.
Speaking of dates. I haven’t been on any lately. There is a new guy on the scene, and we keep saying we are going to go see a movie together, but we have yet to make that happen. Why, you ask? Well, he claims I am simply too busy. As usual, I am to blame for all the flaws in a “relationship.” Ain’t that something? Despite the fact that the guys get better with time, their excuses never do. I find that simply intriguing. The funny thing is, I am always too busy, but he makes sure he takes up all my free evening time. I say Ill be home at 11pm and he’s waiting out front at 10:50. You better believe it. What the heck is THAT about?!?!
Strike that. I think it’s a bunch of crap. But whose really paying attention? [that is what DRIPPING SARCASM looks like, if you didn’t catch on to that.]
I just got done requesting information from The Academy of Art Institute in San Franscisco. I am leaning towards Fashion Marketing or Advertising. I guess I have no choice but to be uprooted. I try to stay in one place….try to make my life stable…but something always comes along and gives me the impression that it is NEVER going to happen. Whatever. Rather than stew over it and upset myself, I am going to keep doing what I have done all of my life: I am going to bloom where I am planted.
I have recently lost some more weight, constructed a rather fabulous essential fall wardrobe, and changed my style a bit. I am excited for life, but wary of what is to come. My mom was offered an interview for a job she really wants in Connecticut. How does this make me feel? I keep asking myself the same question. Where do I want to be? What do I want to do? Am I ready for anything other than California? I really don’t know. The worst part is, the only thing holding me back is that I can’t stand the thought of being more than an hour away from my aunt, and other mother, and the fam I have out here. Otherwise, I have nothing much left to lose, other than my sanity when the snow comes. So much for straight hair all winter if I go that route.
Do they even know how to press hair in Connecticut? Are there even black people there? Wow. WOW. What am I going to do?!?!?!
Moving on again, lately, I have been evaluating the importance of certain people in my life. I have a lot of friends. I refer to a lot of people as closer than friends…as family, actually. The killer is, they are some TWO FACED ass people!! Seriously, they have the game so messed up! What is it with people thinking that even though you KNOW the things they have done to others, they think you are stupid enough to believe they’d never do those things to you? Do I have “No, really, I love you so much I’m blind to your bullshit.” stamped on my forehead? I really hope not, because the last thing I aim to do is falsely advertise my intelligence. I’m on to you. I have been for a long time. But now? Now, it’s getting a bit ridiculous. And seeing as I don’t deal with you on a daily basis, I don’t see why I should bother keeping you around.
I plan to keep taking chances. But only on MYSELF. I am DONE with people who think they can gallivant around asking for favors all the damn time like I have nothing better to do but continue to enable them because they are simply too lazy, selfish, and honestly….STUPID to do anything for themselves. Get it together. I may not be doing all the big things I want to yet, but I know who I am, and where I am going. I know who you are too. The only people you’re fooling is yourselves. I sincerely hope you grow out of that soon…we are only getting older. And although I am pretty much through with you, I’d hate to see you ruin your chances of ever having real friends again. Think about it.
Ok. Off to retail hell. Aka Friday night at the big girl store. Maybe today these ladies will have showered before they enter my fitting rooms. Fat and foul do not HAVE to go together, you know.