I’m Already Gone.


So, went out for a very good friends birthday last night. I was super excited to see her, because I have only seen her once since I left San Bernardino.

Let me just say this. It seems that sometimes, I am put to tests I feel I won’t be able to pass. I was faced with the challenge of going out to have a good time with a monkey on my back….almost literally. You see, it’s been so hard lately to figure out who is a true friend, and who is just here to milk me for all I have to give…sometimes I wonder if I am exing the right people. I have deliberately done things…broken promises, ignored texts and phone calls…all in the hopes that these people will just cut ME off. Because you know what? Every time I cut them off? I let them come back. And that’s not fair, when it comes down to it.

Dealing with him was interesting. Last time we saw each other, no words were exchanged. This time, he gets out of the car to give me the front seat, and says “What’s good, Miss Jo,” as he looks me up and down. My emotional reaction was 2 on a scale of 1-10. Mainly because that was the point at which I wondered whether or not the tutu was maybe just a bit MUCH. Lol. We get to destination number one, and I go to the store. I am sharing my drink with everyone in the car, Kisha offers him some and I hear “I don’t know, that’s Sondra’s.” WOW!!!! So now, all of a sudden, you have some respect for my things? PUHLEEZE. Save that for the next silly girl who comes along to give a shit. I am NOT her. At least, not anymore. I didn’t even respond to him, because I find it hilarious how every time I decide I am done with him, he wants to be ridiculously petty, like he is just doing what I want. As if that has EVER been his goal. Spare me. Kisha says “Sondra, can Boogie have some?” and being the lady I am I respond “Of course. I said it was for everyone to share.”

Then, we get Downtown, and after a bunch of hassle, we end up at Fridays and he is pulling chairs up for me at the bar, and sitting next to me at the table nudging my leg under the table everytime this really ODD chick says something. It was almost like old times….except for one thing.

In the “old times” those things meant something to me. Now? They are like, awkward formalities. We didn’t yell. We didn’t fight. We didn’t piss each other off. But you know what? We aren’t friends. Kisha said “Sondra and Boogie!” and held the camera up…thankfully he was too high to pay attention, and I quietly said “No, I don’t think so.” to which she replies “Whyyyy?!!?” and I simply said “I just don’t think so.” No animosity, mean faces, or audibly saying it to where it can be turned around and made offensive. I just had to make it clear that I don’t want to freeze any more of these moments. They’re nothing but enablers. They just make me focus on what was, rather than what is. That stunts progress. I am NOT a fan of anything that stunts my progress.

Moving on. Let’s talk about ol’ girl for a moment, shall we? I don’t know HOW she even got into our night in the first place…I was standing at the bar ready to order a drino for Chris and some food for myself, then next thing I know, BOOM! We are in a convo with this chick. I should have KNOWN something was wrong, because she was out on a Saturday night by HERSELF. I don’t have that kind of gall. I don’t care what the situation is…I won’t be out alone. Petty, maybe? But I don’t care. She was odd off the bat, bu seemed harmless. We kept a convo until our table was ready, and then I politely excused myself. I thought to invite her, but you need to understand…I was with 4 other people, two of which were extremely faded guys. She was a different species, and I was trying to make things less awkward. But noooo….Jessica invites her to sit with us. Right off, she’s on one!! She was blurting out the weirdest things…like “there’s the chick from Drew Carey! OMG!” and “So, I see this HUUUUGE dude today right? And he’s in the smallllest car, right?!!?” and “So, there is a drunk white girl in the bathroom asking if anyone has body spray or perfume like 3 times….” and Jessica texts me “OMG where did you find this bitch?!” WTF!!! YOU invited her to sit with us, not me!! Get your life together!

OMGOODNESS!! Why?!?! Why did we have to all be sitting there looking around like “what the HECK is her deal?” You’d really need to be there to understand the severity of the situation. She was a large chick, wearing black leggings, a pink cami, and a purple plaid shirt. Hence, why Jessica called her Barney. She ordered two orders of boneless wings, and a basket of fries BEFORE we got there, and the boys went to eat them, thinking they were the ones I ordered. I pointed out they were hers, because they had already finished a whole order, so that order must’ve been mine. She says “Do I look like I can eat both of those?!?!” and everyone gets quiet, until Chris says “I can!”. NOT right. But still hilarious. And when Chris goes to eat something, she asks him if he’s been touching his balls lately…and of course, being Christopher Patrick…he goes on about how he has no choice but to touch them, because after all, they are there. And he touches them to lead other hands there. Can’t forget that part. I was CRACKING UP. I don’t remember what she said at some point…I think she was talking about the large man with the small car when Jarvis decided to repeatedly nudge my leg with his under the table which made it even harder NOT to laugh, because he is way better at keeping a straight face then I am. And he was so messed up, he was half asleep on the table until we are talking about her and he pops his head up momentarily to say “but did you hear her say ‘do i look like i can eat both of those?'” and then put his head back down. LOL. We are all going to hell. In a fiery bus. With gasoline undies on.