Is It Almost September Already?!?!


August is more than half at completion. I feel like the month just zoomed right on by. And there are so many things that have [and have not] transpired. It’s crazy to think about! Ahhhh!

Back to Kenny who was referred to in the last blog….I find it amusing that he recently added me on Facebook. He is allegedly single, and looking for friendships and relationships. How cute! It’s funny how people’s lives are so drastically different when you compare their Myspace to their Facebook, isn’t it? I’ll be deleting my Myspace next year. This is just effing ridiculous.

In other news…I met a guy, right? And it’s crazy, because we are both from Virginia, and we have a lot in common, and we have a lot of fun hanging out. He is an all-around really considerate and really nice person. We are JUST friends. Now, I am the first to admit that most dudes who say “Oh, I am just trying to make friends” are lying like cheap Persian rugs. But thus far, he’s been noble. I get the feeling that he is feeling me. And I, admittedly, and feeling him to an extent as well. But as usual, there’s a fun and exciting twist! He is married.

Yes, people. Married. Like, “I do.” married. It’s one of those handy “contract marriages” with some girl in the Navy. I find the whole thing simply fascinating, really. Like, who knew? Well…he knew. And now, I know. Not that it’s admissable because of those two things. I am not too worried, because as always, my interest will wane. School starts on Monday, and please believe…I am not the slightest bit concerned. I already know I’m in the game. Fresh look, fresh attitude, and a smile on my face? It’s nothing! Maybe I’ll even have a boyfriend this year. Big maybe…seeing as that really isn’t my thing. But hey, a girl can dream, right?

Now funny things I have heard this month:

From my Cochina: “I have a bullet, but the wiring shorted. So I need to get a new one.”
Me: “Bullet? What’s that?”
Cochina: “Shut up. You know what a bullet is.”
Me: “Like, in a gun?”
Cochina: “The vibrator!! Don’t act dumb! I know you know what it is!”
Me: [totally DIDNT know this!] “Ahhhh! WTF?!?! Wait….the wiring shorted?” [pause in the parking structure because I am doubled over laughing SUPER hard.]
Cochina: “OMG! Not like THAT! It just messed up!”
Me: “Riiiiight!” [Continue laughing hysterically.]
Cochina: “There’s nothing wrong with that. You need to flick your bean, Sondra!”

I almost died at that point. But let me tell you…one of the most interesting conversations, ever!

And then, my girl Ashley….she was talking about how her dude takes FOREVER when they are bumping fuzzies….and she said “Sondra….he takes soooo long. I told him, I am going to set the timer on my phone, and when it goes off, we are DONE!” and I asked her what he said, and she replies “He said, ‘you better not.'” Classic!

Oh! Ok! Next! So….we go to Deco’s last Friday night…hair all done, all wearing short cute dresses, and just totally killing. We shut the dance floor down as usual, command attention as we walk thru the rooms of the club, end up in VIP with a shot of Patron compliments of some random dudes….and then BAM! Candace loses her purse. Or it lost her. Whatever you wanna call it. I didn’t see, so yeah. In the purse?? Her phone, business cards, ID, debit card, Desirees keys, camera and Desirees money. So….guess who drove? Desiree! We talk to security, talk to the people in VIP with us, and keep looking for it. No such luck. At some point after that, I am sitting on the VIP bed, and the DJ comes and sits down and tells me he remembers me. I look at him, and ask from where. He says “You drive a white Saturn. You were mean to me in the parking structure.” I laugh…and lowkey scramble to remember, kuz that is TOTALLY my moms car that I always drive, and Quane and I ALWAYS park in the structure to save time, and protect the car from hoodlums. He says I gave him a sideways stank face, with a matching attitude after the club one night. I really don’t believe him, but I gotta say…in the event this is true…can you BALME me? The end of the night? You have read the stories! After all those shenanigans, I am supposed to be nice to the parking lot pimps? NO! Heck no! And seriously, I believe that is the night I thought I locked the keys in the car. [Did you know? You can’t lock the keys in the car if you don’t actually lock the car. Talk about DUMB luck.] After talking some more, and explaining the situation, he gives me his card and tells me to call him when we come out so he can hook us up…he is the main afternoon DJ for Jammin Z90.3! Wow! He is really nice, and we are going to have a True Blood day soon, he DVR’s all of them! Nice!

It’s interesting how I keep coming across a bunch of really cool guys lately. I just pray he isn’t married. Lord willing.

K guys….have a fun, safe and ridiculous weekend!