This Goes Out to Jordan Brown the Jerkface.


Mmmk.

May 8, 2009. Went to the club with Quane and Brittney. The night was fun, although a bit odd, seeing as the 18+ spot we went to was a hot mess. But you know, that’s why I love my girls…we always make the best of a situation, even if we are laughing the whole night, and pretty much only stuck around because the photographer kept taking our pictures, which showed up on the wall after he takes them…sooooo cool!

Anyways. Back to the point. So, around midnight, maybe even later than that, I take my phone out of my ADORABLE pink clutch [thanks NaeNae!] and see I have a new text from a Mr. Jordan Brown of Riverside, CA. I’d post his myspace link, but you’re not missing anything, don’t trip. Now, some background on my affiliation with Mr. Brown….I know him because he found me on my sister Trina’s myspace page, and also learned he was friends with my boy Aaron from high school. No biggie. I guess he was feelin me or whatever, and being the attention whore that
I am, I entertained by being courteous and responding to text messages and such. I should point out that I made it ALARMINGLY CLEAR that it pretty much wasn’t going anywhere. I made no mistake it telling him that I quite simply DO NOT DO relationships. But alas, that is the problem with boys. They think that everything a woman says is simply negotiable. No sir. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. Therefore, when I said you would never be my boyfriend, nor change my mind on the subject, I meant it. Meant it when I said I wasn’t really feeling you, too. Pssh.

So. He texts me asking what I am doing. I actually deleted his number back in like, December…so it took me a minute to realize who he was…I only knew because he does that stupid stuff with his spelling…everything l00k$ liik3 thii$.
ick. Convo went something like this[I edited them, simply because when I started going off on him, the texts were like 3 messages long, minimum.]:
Me: “Who is this? Oh wait. I know. I’m Downtown with my girls.”
Him: “I know you want to see me. I’m with two of my boys. Are you with any females?”
Me: [stupid freakin….I JUST said….] “Yeah. Two of the besties.”
Him: “Are they freaks?”
Me: “Ugh. Don’t be disrespectful. What do you want?”
Him: “Well, if we come see you, do ya’ll got gas money for the homie?”
Me: [Showing Q and B and getting even more angry, because I HATE stupid. omg.] “Are you for real right now? Three of ya’ll, and you don’t have gas money? Wow. No. We don’t mess with broke niggas lookin for “freaks.”
Him: “Wow. You’re being a gypsy right now.”

I continued to go hard on him, because I could not BELIEVE the audacity of this fool. From jump, he was all stupid questions…and then to top it off, he’s making up words?!? Get real. How are you gonna call me a freaking gypsy?!?! What does that even MEAN, for crying out loud? I wear a peasant skirt and hundreds of bangles? What? Enlighten me, because I see NO relevance between my reaction to the situation and gypsies. And I mean, I typically can make a correlation between any two off the wall components. But him? He was just doing the most!
And you know, I asked him to lose my number, because I don’t see why he bothers to keep texting me when every time, without fail, I have to ask him to identify himself, and once again tell him it’s NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

Ugh.

On the up side, Candace and I now have an inside joke…I told her the story, and she always laughs and tells me she has been throwing around “You’re such a gypsy!” and “Don’t be a gypsy” just for fun, because she is so tickled by the whole thing. I can’t say I blame her, because it is pretty freaking ridiculous on a real level. Moving on….

Jordan Brown…I am CALLING YOU OUT.
Because you are just so ridiculously oblivious to the fact that the things you do and say are not appealing in the least. I hope that maybe by shedding some light on where and why exactly you went wrong, maybe you will make some kind of attempt to get your act together. Maybe then, you’ll have better luck.
But please, still delete my number if you haven’t already done so. I forgive, but I won’t be forgetting THAT. Hence, why you are still a topic at all.

That’s all folks….have a good one.
And please, don’t be a gypsy….lol.

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